Amelia Bedelia Ties the Knot Read online

  Dedication

  For Julia & Chad,

  expert knot-tiers—H. P.

  For Chloe and Scott, who Tied the Knot . . .

  15 years ago! With love—L. A.

  Dedication

  Chapter 1: A Spring Sparkle in Her Step Eye

  Chapter 2: Massage in a Bottle

  Chapter 3: Pop the Question

  Chapter 4: Something Old, Something New . . .

  Chapter 5: Bride-to-Be, or Not to Be

  Chapter 6: A Knotty Lesson

  Chapter 7: “Hey, You Kids!”

  Chapter 8: Stormy Weather

  Chapter 9: Go with the Flo

  Chapter 10: Bachelorette Slumber Party Boat

  Chapter 11: Stuck Up

  Chapter 12: Something Borrowed, Something Blew

  Chapter 13: Half Hitch + Half Hitch = Totally Hitched

  Chapter 14: A Familiar Ring to It

  Two Ways to Say It

  Back Ads

  Credits

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  When Amelia Bedelia got home from school, there was a surprise waiting for her. Recognizing the car in the driveway, she jumped off her bike and ran inside. “Aunt Mary? Jason?” she hollered. “Where are you?”

  “In the kitchen, sweetie!” called her mother.

  Amelia Bedelia threw her backpack onto a chair and skipped through the living room to the kitchen. She could hear her mother and aunt talking in low voices. The only word she caught was “notices.”

  Amelia Bedelia ran to her aunt and gave her a giant hug.

  “Hi, pussycat,” said Aunt Mary. “It’s wonderful to see you again.”

  “Pour yourself some lemonade,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “And I’ll make you a snack.”

  Amelia Bedelia looked around. She peeked under the breakfast table and stuck her head into the dining room. “Where’s Jason?” she asked.

  Amelia Bedelia hated it when her cousin jumped out from a hiding spot and surprised her. (She kind of liked the thrill too, but she would never tell anyone that.)

  “Jason couldn’t come,” said Aunt Mary. “He just joined the track team. What’s new for you in school?”

  Amelia Bedelia was disappointed that her cousin wasn’t there. “We just started studying flight and airplanes,” she said.

  “Fun! You’ll hear all about Amelia Earhart,” said Aunt Mary. “She was a famous aviator. She flew all over the world!”

  “Airheart is a great name for a flier,” said Amelia Bedelia, “since they love to be in the air.” She turned to her mother and asked, “Mom, was I named after Amelia Airheart?”

  “No,” said her mother, shaking her head. “It’s spelled E-a-r-h-a-r-t but pronounced as Air-heart. And it would have sounded terrible to be called Earhart Bedelia.”

  Amelia Bedelia’s mother chuckled to herself as she sliced an apple for a snack.

  “Mom, just because Dad isn’t here,” said Amelia Bedelia, “it doesn’t mean you have to take his place making dumb jokes.” She grabbed an apple slice and asked, “What’s new with you, Aunt Mary?”

  “Oh, nothing . . . ,” said Aunt Mary, placing her hands palms down on the breakfast table and wiggling her fingers. Amelia Bedelia tried not to look at the huge diamond on the ring finger of Mary’s left hand. Jason had told her that it was enormous, and now it was flashing and sparkling so much she practically needed sunglasses.

  “Have you been back to your beach house yet?” asked Amelia Bedelia.

  “Oh, yes, many times,” said Mary.

  “I love the beach. We had so much fun there,” said Amelia Bedelia. “Do you ever see Bob . . . Bob . . . you know, that Metal Man guy who finds stuff in the sand with his metal detector?”

  “Bob Jackson,” said Mary. “Actually, we see a lot of each other. We’ve been dating.” She raised her left hand up to her face and smiled. The huge, glittery diamond ring was staring straight at Amelia Bedelia.

  “Aunt Mary, you’ve been keeping a secret from us!” Amelia Bedelia reached across the table, grabbed Mary’s left hand, and pointed at her thumbnail. “When did you get your nails painted? This red is my favorite color!”

  Aunt Mary looked up at her sister, then back at Amelia Bedelia. “You know,” said Aunt Mary. “It’s gotten awfully hot in here. I may have to take off my engagement ring.”

  “You don’t have to do that,” said Amelia Bedelia, bounding out of her seat. “I’ll open a window.”

  A cool breeze blew across the sunny kitchen as Amelia Bedelia sat back down.

  Aunt Mary smiled. “You little stinker!” she said, laughing.

  “Excuse me?” said Amelia Bedelia, but it was too late. Aunt Mary sprang out of her seat and started tickling Amelia Bedelia under her chin.

  “Ha-ha-ha, stop it,” pleaded Amelia Bedelia between gasps for air. “It was Jason’s idea. Hah-ha-hah-heh—he said it would drive you bonkers!”

  “Jason is an expert at that,” said Aunt Mary.

  “Mom, help!” yelled Amelia Bedelia.

  “She is really, really ticklish under her arms,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother.

  Aunt Mary tickled Amelia Bedelia under the arms.

  “Ha-ha-ha-ha-ah-ha-hoo-ho! Don’t help Aunt Mary, Mom,” gasped Amelia Bedelia. “Help me!”

  Amelia Bedelia was now on the floor, with Aunt Mary kneeling next to her and tickling her stomach. Amelia Bedelia rolled over, lunged up, and began tickling her mother behind her knees, her mother’s most ticklish spot.

  “Ohhh-nooo-ho-ho-ho!” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother.

  “That’s exactly where I used to tickle her when we were kids!” said Aunt Mary.

  “Oh, yeah?” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. She bent down and started tickling her sister’s ankles. “Here’s Aunt Mary’s weak spot!”

  “Hah-hah-hah-hah!” said Aunt Mary. “Hah-hah-hah-hah!”

  By now, all three of them were rolling around on the floor, trying to out-tickle and outsmart one another. Just then, Amelia Bedelia’s dog, Finally, raced into the room, barking and spinning around. Amelia Bedelia looked up. Her father was standing in the doorway, slowly shaking his head with a look of total disbelief on his face.

  “Finally and I didn’t mean to crash your teatime tickle party,” said Amelia Bedelia’s father.

  “Oh, we were having some fun and got carried away,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother, getting up off the floor. “Mary’s here with some exciting news, honey. There’s going to be a wedding in the family!”

  “No kidding!” said Amelia Bedelia’s father as he helped Aunt Mary to her feet. “Congratulations! Have you met Jason’s fiancée yet?”

  Aunt Mary looked up at the ceiling and huffed. “Honestly, I feel like I have stepped into a comedy club!”

  Amelia Bedelia’s mother began moving in slow motion toward Amelia Bedelia’s father. “His tickle spot is right under his chin,” she said. “Just like Amelia Bedelia’s.”

  Aunt Mary and Amelia Bedelia started walking toward him like zombies.

  “No, no!” said Amelia Bedelia’s father, backing into the family room. “I declare a tickle truce! I want to hear all about this wedding.”

  “I’ll make us some popcorn,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “Mary, tell him how Bob proposed to you. Honey, I’m telling you . . . you could take romance lessons from Bob.”

  “I’ll add that to my Christmas list,” said Amelia Bedelia’s father, sitting back in his recliner and settling in to hear the story of Aunt Mary’s engagement.

  Amelia Bedelia sat on the rug, rubbing Finally’s belly and listening too.

  “So yesterday, right at sunset,” Mary began, “Bob insisted on taking me for a walk alon
g the beach.”

  “That’s romantic!” called Amelia Bedelia’s mother from the kitchen, over the sound of popping corn.

  “Got it!” replied Amelia Bedelia’s father.

  “I had a feeling that Bob wanted to tell me something important,” Aunt Mary continued. “He’s so at home on the beach.”

  “He should move into a shell like a hermit crab,” said Amelia Bedelia.

  Amelia Bedelia’s father laughed. “Did Bob bring along his metal detector?” he asked.

  “How did you know?” said Aunt Mary, smiling.

  “Honey, that is not romantic,” called Amelia Bedelia’s father into the kitchen.

  The only reply was the pop-pop-pop of corn.

  “Anyway,” said Aunt Mary, “all of a sudden Bob’s headphones start buzzing, so he starts digging. He uncovers an ancient bottle with a wax seal on it. He rinses it off in the ocean, then holds it up to my ear and shakes it. Something is clinking around. Then Bob breaks the seal, turns it on its side, and out falls this into the palm of my hand.” Aunt Mary held up her ring for Amelia Bedelia’s father to see.

  “Wow!” said Amelia Bedelia’s father. “That is some rock!”

  “That’s no rock,” said Amelia Bedelia. “That’s a diamond.”

  “Diamonds are a type of rock,” said her father. “In fact, the diamond is a cousin to coal, but it’s put under more heat and pressure, then cut and polished to look sparkly.”

  “The next time you say I’m getting coal in my stocking for Christmas, I hope it looks like that,” said Amelia Bedelia. “Mary’s rock rocks!”

  “It must be at least a carat,” said Amelia Bedelia’s father.

  “Almost two carats,” said Mary.

  “Two carrots?” said Amelia Bedelia. “That’s all? Mom’s got a dozen carrots in the fridge right now. Throw in a stalk of celery, a radish, and a cucumber, and you could give her a really pretty necklace, Dad.”

  “A diamond’s weight is measured by carats,” said Amelia Bedelia’s father. “Its value depends on four words that begin with the letter C—carat, color, clarity, and cut.”

  Amelia Bedelia’s mother interrupted, handing him a big bowl of popcorn. “You forgot the fifth C—checkbook.”

  Amelia Bedelia’s father laughed and passed the popcorn bowl to Amelia Bedelia. “Get back to Bob on the beach with the bottle,” he said to Aunt Mary.

  “So then Bob gets down on one knee to propose—” said Aunt Mary.

  “Really romantic . . . ,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother, sighing.

  “Then he popped the question?” asked Amelia Bedelia’s father.

  Amelia Bedelia looked at the popcorn, then back at her dad. “How do you pop a question?” she asked.

  “Bob asked me to marry him,” said Aunt Mary.

  “Did you pop an answer?” said Amelia Bedelia.

  “Yes,” said Aunt Mary. “I said yes.”

  “Honey, here’s another lesson for you,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “Inside the bottle, Bob also put a certificate good for a day at a spa, with massage and beauty treatments included.”

  “Beauty treatments would be wasted on you, honey,” said Amelia Bedelia’s father. “You’re already beautiful.”

  “Well, at least we agree on one thing,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother, kissing him on the cheek. “You can add the money you would have spent on a spa to my diamond necklace fund.”

  Amelia Bedelia’s father quickly changed the subject. “What does Jason think about all this?” he asked.

  “Jason’s very happy,” said Mary. “He and Bob hang out together when we visit the shore. Bob has never forgotten how Jason and his friends saved the Beach Ball.”

  “You know what?” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “We’re throwing you an engagement party.”

  “How can you throw an entire party?” said Amelia Bedelia.

  “We are?” said Amelia Bedelia’s father.

  “Absolutely,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “It will give the two families a chance to meet over a nice meal well before the wedding.”

  “How romantic,” said Amelia Bedelia’s father, taking her hand in his. “That reminds me of three little words I want to say to you.”

  Amelia Bedelia blushed. For some reason she got embarrassed when her parents said “I love you” to each other.

  “What’s for dinner?” Amelia Bedelia’s father whispered, leaning in and looking deeply into her mother’s eyes.

  “Carats,” said her mother, laughing and smacking him on the head. “Bunches of carats.”

  Amelia Bedelia’s parents were famous for hosting fun dinner parties. Usually they didn’t have a specific event to celebrate—they just got good friends together to enjoy delicious meals. Amelia Bedelia was really looking forward to this party though, because Aunt Mary’s engagement was super exciting!

  On the day of the party, Amelia Bedelia was in the kitchen for hours helping her mother.

  “Let’s take a popcorn break,” suggested Amelia Bedelia’s mother late in the afternoon. “I’m pooped.” She poured the kernels into the popper. “You know what, sweetie?” she said. “We need something to break the ice.”

  “Did our fridge stop making those little cubes?” asked Amelia Bedelia.

  “Gosh, I hope not,” said her mother. “But when people get together for the first time, it’s nice to do a fun activity. It helps everyone relax and feel comfortable.”

  “I can take everyone outside to play hopscotch,” said Amelia Bedelia.

  POP! went the first kernel. Pop-POP! went a couple more.

  “Your grandparents probably wouldn’t go for that,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother, shaking her head. “My idea is a fun interview! I made a list of questions for Mary and Bob to answer. That way, they can tell us everything at the same time, without having to repeat themselves all night.”

  “Sounds like you’re giving them a test,” said Amelia Bedelia.

  POP-pop-POPPITY-POP! went the popcorn.

  “There’s got to be a fun way to ask questions,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “Like when Bob—”

  “Popped the question!” said Amelia Bedelia and her mother at the same time. They hugged, congratulating themselves for being geniuses.

  The popcorn agreed. POP! POP! POP! POP! POP! POP!!!

  “I have an idea,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “We can write questions on little strips of paper, like the fortunes in fortune cookies, and stick them in popcorn.”

  “Neat! Oh, but the corn has already popped,” said Amelia Bedelia. “What else pops?”

  Her mother thought for a second, then said, “I bought balloons to decorate the house . . .”

  “Perfect!” said Amelia Bedelia. “We’ll put a question inside each balloon, blow the balloons up, take a pin, and—POP! They get a question.”

  Amelia Bedelia adored questions. Whenever she didn’t know what to do or say next, she would ask a question. Her mother’s list had good questions that people would like to know the answers to. Amelia Bedelia added a few more, some mysteries she had always wondered about. Then she cut out the questions, rolled each strip of paper into a little cylinder, and inserted the cylinders into the balloons.

  The first to arrive was Amelia Bedelia’s aunt Wanda, her father’s older sister. Not bothering with the bell, she bounded through the open door, with Finally barking happily at her heels, and bellowed, “I’m here! Let the party begin!”

  Aunt Wanda was delighted with the Pop the Question icebreaker idea. She convinced Amelia Bedelia’s father to blow up the balloons, saying, “I hope they don’t float away, with all your hot air.” Once he had finished and tied them off, Wanda used a marker to draw a huge question mark on each one. Then Amelia Bedelia put all the balloons in a big bag, ready to be popped.

  Amelia Bedelia’s father was out of breath when he opened the door for Grandma and Granddad, who arrived at the same time as Mary, Bob, Jason, and Bob’s brother, Tom. There were hugs and kisses all
around. Amelia Bedelia and Jason began jumping and dancing together in a wild circle until they both tripped and fell down laughing. They’d been greeting each other this same way since they were little kids.

  “Grandma, I’ll bet you’re happy that Mary is getting married,” said Amelia Bedelia’s father.

  “Finally!” said Grandma.

  “Mother, shush!” said Aunt Mary.

  “What’s wrong?” said Grandma, pointing at Finally. “Isn’t that her name? Come here, sweet puppy! Say hello to Grandma.”

  Finally scampered over, wagging her tail.

  “You know,” said Grandma. “It took me a while too, but I finally found Mr. Right.”

  “Yup,” said Granddad. “And when she did, she couldn’t decide between Orville or Wilbur, so she married me.”

  Amelia Bedelia’s grandfather and father started laughing.

  “Wait. Grandma. You knew the Wright brothers?” said Amelia Bedelia. “You need to come talk to my class, we’re studying aviation pioneers and . . .”

  Now everyone was laughing, except for Amelia Bedelia.

  “R-i-g-h-t,” said Jason, flicking her ear. “Right, not Wright.”

  While Amelia Bedelia’s mother served yummy little things to eat and her father took care of soft drinks, Amelia Bedelia told Aunt Mary and Bob how to play Pop the Question. She gave a pin to Bob, and he POPPED the first balloon. He snatched the piece of paper out of midair and unrolled the question. “‘Do you two have a date for the wedding?’” he read out loud.