Amelia Bedelia Hops to It Read online

  Dedication

  To Tamar Mshvildadze,

  Amelia Bedelia’s ambassador

  to the country of Georgia—H. P.

  To Sylvie, Virginia, Lois, and Herman.

  We’ve always hopped to it!—L. A.

  Contents

  Cover

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Chapter 1: No Fool Like an April Fool

  Chapter 2: “What Color Is Your GREEN House?”

  Chapter 3: See You Later, Incubator!

  Chapter 4: Sit Tight or Hang Loose?

  Chapter 5: Egg on Her Face

  Chapter 6: Spring into Action

  Chapter 7: An Incubator That Re-Fuses to Die

  Chapter 8: A Taste of Holland

  Chapter 9: No Business Like Business . . .

  Chapter 10: Homecoming for Harriet

  Chapter 11: “I Don’t Want to Hear a PEEP Out of You!”

  Two Ways to Say It

  Make Your Own Springtime Flowers

  Amelia Bedelia’s April Fools Sweet Sliders and Fries

  About the Author and Illustrator

  Back Ads

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  .1.

  No Fool Like an April Fool

  Amelia Bedelia woke with a start and sat up in bed. Something had disturbed her, but she wasn’t sure what it was. A dream? A nightmare? Sleepily, she got dressed and headed downstairs.

  “Morning, cupcake,” said her mother.

  Amelia Bedelia smiled. “Good morning, Mommy,” she replied, rubbing her eyes. “What’s for . . .” Her voice trailed off when she spotted the fried egg perched on a plate at her place at the table. The smile faded from her face.

  “Breakfast is served, milady,” said her father with a deep bow.

  “Thank you, migentleman,” said Amelia Bedelia, giving him a quick curtsy.

  Amelia Bedelia sat down and gulped. How could her father forget that frying was her very least favorite way to fix an egg? Hard-boiled, soft-boiled, scrambled, poached, deviled—yes, please. She’d never ever turned down an omelet, especially if it had cheddar cheese melted in it. But fried eggs? No thank you.

  She stared at the single glistening yellow yolk. Gross. Why were eggs like this called sunny-side up? There was nothing sunny about this egg. She began feeling a tiny bit queasy.

  “Something wrong?” asked her father, sliding into his seat next to her. He was smiling and laughing, looking so pleased with himself that Amelia Bedelia did not want to complain and hurt his feelings.

  “Um, no,” she said. “Thanks for breakfast, Daddy.” She picked up her fork, took a deep breath, and poked the yolk. To her surprise, it didn’t break. She stabbed it again. Nothing. She lifted her fork, and the whole yolk came up with it.

  She looked at her father. “There’s something wrong with my egg,” she said.

  Amelia Bedelia’s parents both burst out laughing. “April Fools!” said her father. “Your fried egg is actually half a canned peach on top of some vanilla yogurt!”

  “Really?” said Amelia Bedelia. She took a bite. Then another. It was delicious.

  Her mother shook her head. “Didn’t you hear me shriek this morning when I took my first sip of coffee?” she asked.

  “Oh! That’s what woke me up!” said Amelia Bedelia.

  Her father looked embarrassed. “I put salt in the sugar bowl,” he confessed. “An April Fools’ Day classic. Sorry. I couldn’t resist.”

  Amelia Bedelia shook her head. “Oh, Daddy,” she said.

  April Fools’ Day was Amelia Bedelia’s father’s favorite holiday. He was always coming up with new tricks to play on his family. Last year he’d filled a bowl halfway with milk, stuck a spoon in it, and put it in the freezer overnight. The next morning, he poured some cereal and milk on top and served it to Amelia Bedelia. She was so confused when she couldn’t budge the spoon, no matter how hard she tried.

  Amelia Bedelia’s father stood up and kissed the top of her head. “You really were going to take a bite of your least-favorite breakfast just for me, weren’t you?”

  Amelia Bedelia nodded.

  “Your heart is always in the right place, honey bun,” said her mother.

  Amelia Bedelia placed her hand on her chest. “I hope so,” she replied.

  Spring was in the air as Amelia Bedelia walked to school that morning. The sun was shining, birds were singing, trees were budding, flowers were blooming, and bees were buzzing.

  Amelia Bedelia skipped for the entire last block. She bounced past Oak Tree Elementary’s custodian, Mr. Jack, who was trimming the bushes in front of the building. “The hedges are getting their first haircut of the year,” said Amelia Bedelia.

  Mr. Jack smiled. “Don’t you have a spring in your step this morning!” he said.

  “No springs,” said Amelia Bedelia. “Just new sneakers!”

  Amelia Bedelia walked down the hall to her classroom, because skipping was not allowed inside. Her teacher, Mrs. Shauk, was super strict about rules. Students called her the Hawk because she never missed anything. Kids swore she had eyes in the back of her head. Amelia Bedelia was pretty sure that wasn’t true, even though she herself had been caught by Mrs. Shauk when her back was turned.

  Once everyone had settled into their seats, Mrs. Shauk said, “I hope that you all remembered to bring in your permission slips for the field trip to Seven Gables Farm tomorrow.”

  After she collected and counted them all, she smiled.

  So far, so good, thought Amelia Bedelia.

  “Thank you,” said Mrs. Shauk. “Okay, now we are going to start our day with a little pop quiz.”

  Amelia Bedelia changed her mind. So far, so bad.

  The class groaned. Amelia Bedelia began to list different flavors of soda in her head so that she’d be ready for the quiz about pop. Orange, grape, cherry . . .

  “Take out your pencils, please,” said Mrs. Shauk. She began walking up and down the aisles, placing a sheet of paper facedown on each student’s desk. “This is a timed test,” she informed them. “The student who finishes first correctly will win a prize.”

  Root beer, lemon-lime, ginger ale . . . Amelia Bedelia’s thoughts were interrupted by Mrs. Shauk’s next words. “Okay, you may turn your papers over now.”

  The room was silent as everyone flipped over their quizzes. Amelia Bedelia’s friends got right to work. She could hear their pencils scratching out answers.

  Amelia Bedelia stared down at her quiz. It was a single sheet of paper with instructions at the top and a numbered list. Though her impulse was to get started immediately like everyone else, she forced herself to slow down. Take your time, Amelia Bedelia, she told herself. She began to read the test and quickly discovered that Mrs. Shauk had been fooling them. This wasn’t a pop quiz at all. There wasn’t a single question about soda.

  This is a test to see how well you follow directions. A prize will be given to the student who completes it both quickly and accurately. But please don’t rush! Take your time and be thorough.

  Read every question on this page before you begin.

  1. Write your name on the top left-hand corner of the page.

  2. Turn the paper over and write your birth date.

  3. What is 5 times 42? Write your answer here ______

  4. Stand up and say, “My name is _________________and I am the best at following directions.”

  5. On the bottom right-hand corner of the page, write your name backward.

  6. Draw twelve circles on the back of this paper.

  7. Now draw a smiley face in each circle.

  8. Add 465 and 123. Write your answer here ______

  9. Draw a line through each smi
ley face on the back of this page.

  10. Stand up, touch your toes, and sit back down.

  11. Sing the happy birthday song as fast as you can.

  12. Underline the word “the” every time it appears in this quiz.

  13. Clap your hands three times.

  14. Answer question one and turn your paper over. You are done.

  While Amelia Bedelia was tempted to ignore the sentence at the top and start writing her answers immediately (especially when it was clear that Cliff was already at number five when he jumped up and shouted, “My name is Cliff, and I am the best at following directions!”), she was glad she had followed the directions when she finally got to number fourteen:

  14. Answer question one and turn your paper over. You are done.

  Amelia Bedelia gasped. Mrs. Shauk was playing an April Fools’ trick on them! Trying not to laugh, she wrote her name in the top left-hand corner of the paper, turned it over, and folded her hands on her desk. Mrs. Shauk smiled and winked at her.

  All around the room, her classmates continued to work on the quiz. They were drawing circles, adding and multiplying numbers, standing up and shouting, and singing really fast.

  “Class,” Mrs. Shauk finally said. “I need to interrupt you for a moment. Amelia Bedelia, will you please show everyone your paper?”

  Amelia Bedelia held it up.

  “You are the winner!” Mrs. Shauk proclaimed.

  “Impossible!” said Clay, squinting at Amelia Bedelia’s quiz. “She didn’t even get to the smiley faces!”

  “And she didn’t sing Happy Birthday really fast yet!” added Holly.

  “You were in such a rush to win, you forgot the most important part of any assignment—to follow ALL the directions,” said Mrs. Shauk. “You were supposed to read the entire page before you started. Look at number fourteen.”

  After a moment, Amelia Bedelia’s friends all said, “Ohhhhhhhhhhh . . .” Many of them looked embarrassed.

  “And it’s too bad,” said Mrs. Shauk. “Because this quiz will be fifty percent of your grade this term and—”

  Holly’s hand shot up. “What?” she said. “Fifty percent?”

  “All because you forgot to follow directions,” Mrs. Shauk continued. “And here’s something else most of you forgot.” She paused. “Today is April Fools’ Day!”

  There was a moment of silence, and then everyone burst out laughing.

  “You got us good, Mrs. Shauk!” said Teddy.

  “I certainly did,” said Mrs. Shauk, looking quite pleased.

  .2.

  “What Color Is Your GREEN House?”

  “Good morning, all! Welcome to Seven Gables Farm. It’s so nice of you to turnip! We are the Hawthornes. This farm has been in our family for five generations, which is a really big dill!” It was a warm spring morning, and Mrs. Hawthorne shaded her eyes from the sun as she spoke to Amelia Bedelia and her friends. “We’re a tiny organic farm, and we love to provide the community with fresh fruits, vegetables, eggs, baked goods, and flowers. We wake up at the quack of dawn to take care of our plants and animals. But we’ve set aside some thyme for you today, so lettuce show you around!”

  Mr. Hawthorne nodded. “Welcome, and please follow me,” he said.

  As Amelia Bedelia and her classmates followed Mr. Hawthorne down a dirt path, Mrs. Shauk chuckled and turned to Ms. Garcia with a smile. “I adore Mrs. Hawthorne’s silly puns!” she said.

  “They’re beyond corny, all right,” replied Ms. Garcia. “But they still make me laugh!”

  Amelia Bedelia and her friends had visited Seven Gables Farm before, tagging along with their parents on weekends to buy fresh produce and flowers from the farm stand, picking peaches in summer and apples in the fall, and enjoying cider doughnuts year-round. And, of course, going on the farm’s famous haunted hayride on Halloween! But today was different. They were getting a behind-the-scenes look at how a small family farm worked.

  “Do you think we’ll see any baby animals today?” Amelia Bedelia asked Daisy.

  Daisy shrugged. “Search me,” she said.

  “Why, do you have a baby bunny in your pocket?” Amelia Bedelia asked.

  Daisy shook her head. “Nope,” she said. “But I wish I did!”

  Mr. Hawthorne came to a stop in front of a glass building. “Spring is the busiest time of year for farmers,” he said. “To have a successful growing season, you need to have all of your ducks in a row.”

  “That must be really hard,” Amelia Bedelia whispered to Daisy. “Everyone knows ducks don’t like to stand still for very long.”

  “You see this greenhouse?” continued Mr. Hawthorne. “It’s where we—”

  Amelia Bedelia raised her hand. “No, I don’t see it,” she said, shaking her head.

  “It’s right behind me,” said Mr. Hawthorne. He stuck out his thumb and motioned over his shoulder like a hitchhiker.

  Amelia Bedelia kept looking around. “Where?” she asked.

  Mr. Hawthorne turned and pointed at the glass building behind him. “Right there,” he said.

  “Oh, in that case, you should definitely call it something else,” said Amelia Bedelia. “Because it isn’t green. It’s made of shiny aluminum and glass. I can see right through it.”

  Mr. Hawthorne laughed. “Ah, Amelia Bedelia, you’re always such a kidder, just like my wife,” he said. “Come inside, everyone.”

  Everyone ducked inside. The building was sunny and warm, and the air was moist. It was filled with rows and rows of different plants in pots.

  “They should call this place the warm and humid house,” Amelia Bedelia whispered to Holly. “The only thing green are those plants.”

  “As you all know, we get cold winters around here. We use our greenhouse to start growing plants earlier in the season, to protect them while they get a head start. When the weather is warmer and the danger of frost has passed, we will transplant the seedlings outdoors,” explained Mr. Hawthorne. “As you can see, the greenhouse is made of glass to let in the sunlight but keep heat from escaping. We also grow more delicate plants in here, like tomatoes, peppers, strawberries, eggplants, and herbs. They are protected from the weather and from the little creatures that like to eat them. The bottom line is that farmers need to be flexible.”

  The Hawthornes led the class from the greenhouse to a sunny field. “We’ve already planted a lot of our vegetables, like carrots, radishes, and beets,” Mr. Hawthorne said. “And now we’re ready to prepare the soil to plant corn.”

  “I trust you don’t mind getting your hands dirty!” said Mrs. Hawthorne. “And I mean that literally!” She gave shovels to some of the students and showed them how to loosen the soil, breaking up clumps of earth and pulling out weeds. There weren’t enough shovels to go around, so Amelia Bedelia and her friends took turns.

  “I hope you are all able to pull your weight!” said Mr. Hawthorne with a smile.

  Amelia Bedelia couldn’t remember how much she weighed. She looked around for some rope, but all she saw were shovels.

  “Your turn,” said Pat, handing Amelia Bedelia his shovel. She began hacking away at the ground until CLANG! She hit something so hard it made her arms tingle.

  “Amelia Bedelia, you struck pay dirt!” said Mrs. Hawthorne with a laugh.

  Pay dirt? Amelia Bedelia smiled. Had she discovered buried treasure like she had at the shore? She kept digging. Unfortunately, her treasure turned out to be just a big rock. She was disappointed, but not for long. Once they had planted all the corn seeds, Mrs. Hawthorne had a reward for them. “You have all proven yourselves to be outstanding in your field,” she said. “So how about some ice-cold lemonade?”

  “Yes, please!” said Amelia Bedelia. She was so thirsty she drank two cups.

  “Amelia Bedelia, you must have a hollow leg!” said Mr. Hawthorne, filling her cup again.

  “Oh, I don’t think so,” said Amelia Bedelia. “I’m just really thirsty.”

  “Now romaine calm,” said Mrs. H
awthorne when everyone had drunk their fill. “We’re going to end our farm tour with a visit to the barn to see the baby animals.”

  There were fluffy bunnies to feed dandelion leaves to, and sweet yellow chicks to admire. The ducklings made little quacking sounds, and the baby goats all crowded around Amelia Bedelia and her friends, eager to be petted. And everyone loved the two baby donkeys with their big brown eyes and long eyelashes! They were so new they didn’t even have names yet.

  “Class, it is time for us to return to school,” Mrs. Shauk finally announced. “Let’s give a round of applause to Mr. and Mrs. Hawthorne. They really bent over backward for us today.”

  Amelia Bedelia looked at Holly. “Did you see them do that?” she asked. She had had no idea that the Hawthornes were gymnasts as well as farmers! Maybe that was what Mr. Hawthorne had meant when he said that a farmer had to be flexible.

  As the class began to line up to get back on the bus, Mrs. Hawthorne posed a question. “Ms. Garcia, have you ever thought about hatching eggs in your science class?” she asked. “I could provide you with the eggs, and when the chicks get too big for you, we would take them back. That way they’d have a good home, and your students could visit them whenever they wanted to.”

  “Oh, what a great idea!” said Ms. Garcia. “And I just saw an incubator in the storage room at school.” She turned to Amelia Bedelia and her friends. “Class, a show of hands, please. Who would like to hatch baby chicks in science class?”

  Every hand shot up. Amelia Bedelia wasn’t taking any chances, so she showed Ms. Garcia both of hers.

  “Wonderful!” said Mrs. Hawthorne. “This is going to be your best school project yet. No yolking around!”

  .3.

  See You Later, Incubator!

  The next morning, Amelia Bedelia bounded down the stairs, raced into the kitchen, and plopped down at the table, a big smile on her face.

  Amelia Bedelia’s father looked up from his newspaper. “Good morning, sunshine,” he said. “You look as happy as a clam.”